Before you start on your book adventure in which you will read many many books and become a better human being you should know about Bad Books.
Bad Books are out there and they are terrible. Some are so terrible that they should be collected by the UN, packed in to rockets and fired into the sun so that no-one ever has to read them ever again.
It's very important if you read to be able to spot bad books and to warn other people about them so they don't read them and go blind or mental. Bad Books can totally make this happen.
Here are some things about bad books the people at SPK have read so that you don't have to.
Good news!
Stephanie Meyer is writing another book about VAMPIRES. Imagine that!
(Note: imagining a Stephanie Meyer books in any way guarantees that you’ve thought about it more than the author ever has.)
I’m sure, as a sane person, that you’re thinking ‘Why? Weren’t four enough?’. Well unfortunately friends, four is never enough — especially for someone who ran out of plot at around page twenty-five but kept on going for the remaining one thousand, six hundred and seventy five pages anyway. There can never be enough for that kind of person.
And it’s almost entirely certain that there can never be enough of anything for the force known as the Teenage Fan Market. As long as they can scream themselves into pants wetting unconsciousness over it or fatuously self-identify with it then they’re all for it. Just you try stopping them.
So more Twilight it is. This time in the form of a free to download novella titled The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner.
You’re thinking ‘Who?’, right?
Continue reading: Don’t Worry — Twilight Is Still Terrible
The worst book I ever read was Ritual by Graham Masterton. I was told to read it by a boyfriend when I was 17 and was therefore impressionable, so that when he said it was the best book ever I ignored the tacky picture on the front of it and thought “why not?”.
I was also probably worried that if i didn’t read it he wouldn’t like me anymore and being a dumb teenager didn’t realise that anyone who doesn’t like you just because you don’t like a book is probably a twat.
So I sat down to read Ritual.
To this day I sincerely wish I hadn’t.
There are many things wrong it. Many, many things which have stuck with me these last 8 years and which do not bare repeating even for the purposes of this review. I wouldn’t say it had permanently scarred me because being honest, it wasn’t really interesting enough to do that, but it definitely left an impression.
Continue reading: The Worst Book I Ever Read
So just before we left for London we pointed you towards books — a new feature we’re trying to get off the ground. So far it’s pretty sparse with only the links and pictures section set up but hopefully that will begin to change with the introduction of bad books our one stop shop for information and reviews of the books you should try to avoid.
Today it’s The Twilight Series — a literary saga so terrible it’s inspired horrors like this or this and can only be explained rationally like this.
Long, insipid and written by a lunatic the Twilight Saga beckons you forward into it’s nest made of spit and torn up books. So get real comfy, settle down and prepare to be amazed.
(Major props go to Alex at Rowdy Media for the links and brain damage they caused us.)
Continue reading: Bad Books: Twilight Is Terrible